This is like the………hmm! Okay I don’t remember!

Its become like my anthem,a chant I try to convince myself of every time.And I know you do that too.

Don’t look away….I’m staring right at you. You are doing the very same things..I know I said it yesterday and as I say it today you are rolling your eyes but you are just as guilty.

I said “No! Not this time!”

The pencil broke and I screamed. I may or may not have looked like a total idiot but I quickly grabbed my books and walked out of the library avoiding the glances coming my way.

Yes! Go on and say it. Open your mouth and cover it with your hands for a dramatic effect.I screamed in a library of all places.

But I was so done when my pencil broke.I had been working on this art piece for a while since all the other ones I started had been abandoned.I promised myself that I was going to finish this no matter what.Yet here I am all fed up and sharing my story with you..lol

I cannot count the number times that Keisha has left the door open.No! Not the door to our room,at least those things are replaceable.The door to her life:heart and mind.

She does not hold back in any aspect of her life.People find it easy to connect to her because no area of her life is out of bounds.But at the end of the day she gets hurt and swears never to go there again.But knowing Keisha,that’s exactly what she will do.

And don’t get me wrong,those hurts have not left her broken.Unknowingly,they have built her up to stand against anything.

My song book is still in my bag,my sneakers are still in my closet.

Those series are still on my laptop,I just lent my cousin my jewelry.

I still volunteer at the children center ,Keisha is just gushing about how she has a date tonight.

I am trying out that recipe again,I am editing that cover I just sang.

No matter the number of times we say no to certain things, we always go back to them in one way or the other.It may be our passion to be creative and express ourselves.Or our genuine care for those involved.Our hope that this time around it will get better.Or our thirst and desire to learn.Probably our unconditional love for the person in question.

But every human has a force that drives him to keep moving ,to keep sharing and keep loving.And we need to guard this driving force because once we loose it we become become just another empty vessel ; broken.

Can you think of anything that has made you go ‘No! Not this time’? I would love to know more about it.

Bye Darlings! As I go back to pick my pencil and continue with my art piece.


Author: Nanaaj

I could think of many things that define me ,so here is a list.A student in the university studying languages who writes her heart out on her blog.Occasionally I sing covers of songs I love and share them with my friends.Hopefully I will fulfill my dream of being a lawyer. I aspire to publish some of my writings and record some songs in the future and hopefully open a Rehab center.

5 thoughts on “NO! NOT THIS TIME….

  1. My son wanted money. I said ”No! Not this time,” but he said it wasn’t for weed, but for a new pair of trainers, as his had holes in. I gave him the money.

    My son wanted money. I said ”No! Not this time,” but he begged, saying it wasn’t for street drugs, but for a haircut. I gave him the money.

    My son wanted money. I said ”No! Not this time, but he begged and pleaded, saying it wasn’t for cocaine, it was for new cothes, to change his image. I gave him the money.

    My son wanted money. I said ”No! not this time”, bug he begged, pleaded and threatened, saying it was not for heroin, but to help him get clean. I gave him the money.

    My son wanted money. I refused. He stole every penny I had, and left me in debt.

    My son wanted money. I visited him in prison. His skin glowed, and he told me about all the work he was doing to rehabilitate himself. For the first time since he was thirteen he was off drugs. I looked at him and knew it to be true. I went home, and sent him money.

    He bought soap and shampoo. stamps and phone credit.

    I’m proud of him.

    • Wow ! Thanks for passing through my blog.This is a wonderful piece.Did you just write it? Because there is so much honesty and emotion in this piece and I want to know if there is more from where it came from.Am glad you shared this.

      • Thanks. I’ve been writing ever since I learnt to string a sentence together.I’ve only just started blogging. I’m writing a novel based on my experiences as the mum of an addict, and I want to use the blog as respite when it gets too much. Your blog is the first one I’ve commented on, and the only one I’m following so far. I love the fast pace of your writing.

      • You are so strong to share your story to the world.I don’t even know you, yet I am proud that you are writing a novel based on your life experiences.All the best with your writing and your blog.I am honored to be your first follow.

  2. Reblogged this on DiamondOrDime and commented:
    My exact thoughts!

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